Divine Intimacy: Meditations on the Interior Life for Everyday of the Year

[Stone]

147. THE PASCHAL HARVEST
[FIRST WEEK AFTER THE OCTAVE OF EASTER]

PRESENCE OF GOD - O Jesus, I come to You like Thomas; grant that I may not be unbelieving, but faithful.



MEDITATION

1. Today’s liturgy is concerned in a very special way with the newly baptized, who, at the close of Easter week, laid aside the white garments which they had received at the baptismal font. It is actually to them that St. Peter addressed his affectionate recommendation which we read in the Introit of the Mass : “ As newborn babes, desire the pure spiritual milk.” These words continue to express the maternal solicitude of the Church for the children whom she has regenerated in Christ, and especially for the newly born. We, too, are the object of this solicitude. Although we were baptized as infants, we can say that every Easter regenerates us in Christ by means of our spiritual resurrection in Him. Therefore, we also must be like “newborn babes,” in whom there is no malice, deceit, pride, or presumption, but only candor and simplicity, confidence and love. ‘This is a wonderful invitation to the spiritual childhood which Jesus told us is an indispensable condition for attaining salvation: “Unless you be converted and become as little children, you shall not enter into the
kingdom of heaven” (Mt 18,3). Each wave of grace purifies and cleanses our soul from sin and its roots, giving us rebirth to a new life in Christ, a pure, innocent life, which craves only “ the pure spiritual milk” of the doctrine of Christ, His love and His grace. ‘Today, however, the Church wishes to turn our desires in a very special way toward faith : that faith which makes us cling to Jesus so as to be taught by Him, and nourished and guided toward eternal life. The Master’s words upon which we meditated last week are equally appropriate here : “ He that believeth in Me... from within him shall flow rivers of living water... springing up into life everlasting” (Jn 7,38-4,14). Let us draw near to Jesus with the simple, sincere faith of a little child, and He will give us the abundance of His grace as a pledge of eternal life.


2. Today’s Gospel (Jn 20,19-31) has the particular value of strengthening us in our faith. Thomas’ doubt confirms us in the faith, for as St. Gregory says, “His disbelief was more useful to us than the faith of the other Apostles.” If he had not doubted, no man would have “put his finger in the wounds of the nails, nor his hand into the side” of Our Lord. Jesus had pity on the tottering faith of the Apostle, and on ours, too; and He allowed him not only to see Him, as He had allowed the others, but also to touch Him, thereby permitting Thomas, the incredulous, to do what He had not permitted Mary Magdalen, the most faithful one. From this incident we derive a better understanding of God’s ways. Whereas He gives sensible consolations and more or less palpable signs of His presence to souls who are still wavering in the faith, He often leads by very obscure paths those who have irrevocably given themselves to Him and on whose faith He can count. God is a Father. He never denies to any soul who seeks Him with sincerity the necessary props to support its faith, but He often refuses to the strong what He grants to the weak. Is this not Jesus’ own teaching: “Blessed are they that have not seen, and have believed”? Blessed are they who, in order to believe in God, do not need to see Him or to touch Him and do not require sensible signs, but who can unreservedly affirm: Scio cut credidi, “I know whom I have believed” (2 Tm 1,12), and I am sure of Him. Faith such as this is more meritorious for us, because, being founded solely on the word of God, it is entirely supernatural. It shows greater honor to God, because it gives Him full credence, without demanding any proof, and because it perseveres even in obscurity and in the midst of the most disconcerting events—even when it seems that heaven is closed and the Lord is deaf to our groanings. Such a strong faith as this is certainly the fruit of divine grace, but we must prepare ourselves to receive it, both by asking for it in prayer, and by exercising ourselves in this same faith.


COLLOQUY

My God, give me a simple, pure heart, free of malice and hypocrisy. “O Lord, grant me true purity and simplicity: in my looks, words, heart, intentions, works, and in all my interior and exterior acts. I should like to know, O Lord, what there is in me that impedes these virtues. I shall tell you, O my soul, since I cannot make anyone else understand. Do you know that the obstacle is the smallest glance that is not directed to God, and all the words that are not spoken in praise of Him or for the benefit of your neighbor. Do you know how you drive these virtues out of your heart? You banish them every time you fail to have the pure intention of honoring God or helping your neighbor; you also expel them when you try to cover up and excuse your faults, forgetting that God sees everything, including your heart. O Lord, give me real purity and true simplicity, for You cannot find Your rest in a soul which is without them ” (cf. St. Mary Magdalen dei Pazzi).

O Lord, cleanse my heart and lips in the fire of Your charity, so that I may love You and seek You with the purity and simplicity of a child. Give me also the simple faith of a child, faith without a shadow, without uncertainty or useless reasoning; an upright, pure faith which finds its satisfaction in Your word, in your testimony, for in this it is at peace and desires nothing else.

“O Lord, what is it to me whether I feel or do not feel, whether I am in darkness or in light, whether I have joy or suffering, when I can be recollected in the light created in me by Your words? I feel a kind of shame in differentiating between such matters, and while I feel that I am still affected by them, I heartily despise myself for my want of love, but I quickly turn my gaze upon you, my divine Master, to be delivered by You.... I will exalt You above Your sweet- ness and sensible consolations, for I am resolved to pass by all else in order to be united with You” (cf. E.T. II, 4).

148. VOCAL PRAYER

PRESENCE OF GOD - Lord, teach me to pray!


MEDITATION

1. When one of His disciples said to Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Lk 11,1), He taught them a very simple vocal prayer: the Our Father. It is certainly the most sublime formula possible and contains the whole essence of the most elevated mental prayer. However, Jesus gave it as a formula for vocal prayer : “ When you pray, say...” (ibid. 11,2). This is enough to make us understand the value and importance of vocal prayer, which is within the reach of everyone— even children, the uneducated, the sick, the weary.... But we must realize that vocal prayer does not consist only in the repetition of a certain formula. If this were true, we should have a recitation but not a prayer, for prayer always requires a movement, an elevation of the soul toward God. In this sense, Jesus instructed His disciples: “When thou shalt pray, enter into thy chamber, and having shut the door, pray to thy Father in secret.... And when you are praying, speak not much as the heathens” (Mt 6,6.7). It is interesting to note that in St. Matthew these prescriptions concerning the exterior and interior dispositions necessary for well-made prayer immediately precede the teaching of the Pater Noster.

Therefore, in order that our vocal prayer be real prayer, we must first recollect ourselves in the presence of God, approach Him, and make contact with Him. Only when we have such dispositions will the words we pronounce with our lips express our interior devotion and be able to sustain and nourish it. Unfortunately, inclined as we are to grasp the material part of things instead of the spiritual, it is only too easy in our vocal prayer to content ourselves with a mechanical recitation, without taking care to direct our heart to God; hence we should always be vigilant and alert. Vocal prayer made only by the lips dissipates and wearies the soul instead of recollecting it in God; it cannot be said that this is a means of uniting us more closely to Him.


2. St. Teresa wanted to educate souls and to dispose them for intimate converse with God. Thus, she orientates vocal prayer to this end by saying: “I shall always recommend you to join vocal prayer with mental prayer” (Way, 22). She explains her idea in this way: “If while I am speaking with God, I have a clear realization that I am doing so, and if this is more real to me than the words I am uttering, then I am uniting mental prayer to vocal prayer” (ibid.). The Saint does not mean that we should disregard the care which is demanded by the recitation, and which is of great importance—especially in liturgical prayer like the Divine Office—but she does mean that the most important thing is to be always attentive to God. Especially when we are saying prayers of some length, it is almost impossible to give our attention to the meaning of all the words, but it is always possible to keep ourselves in the presence of God while reciting them. We can nourish the desire to praise God, or to unite ourselves to Him, to implore His help in general, or to ask for a particular grace, each according to his own actual dispositions. A general thought about the meaning of the words might be sufficient, or a simple glance at God to whom we are addressing our prayer. In short, it is not only a question of reciting words, but also of being with God. This is why the Saint insists: “You should consider [before praying] who it is that you are addressing, and who you are, if only that you may speak to Him with respect... ” (ibid.); and this, she concludes, is already to make mental prayer. This does not mean, of course, intense mental prayer, such as we make at the time devoted exclusively to this prayer, without any attempt to recite vocally. Still it is mental prayer in the sense that the mind and heart are orientated to God and that we are trying to get into close contact with Him by means of it. Vocal prayer practiced in this way has great value: first, because it is made in a manner very becoming and respectful toward the majesty of God, and secondly, because it gradually accustoms the soul to mental prayer, to intimate converse with Him.


COLLOQUY


“Never permit it to be thought right, my God, that those who come to speak with You do it with their lips alone.

“I must not be unmannerly because You are good, addressing You in the same careless way I might adopt in speaking to a peasant. If only to show You my gratitude for enduring my foul odor and allowing one like myself to come near You, it is well that I should try to realize who You are....

“O my Emperor, Supreme Power, Supreme Goodness, Wisdom itself, without beginning, without end, and without measure in Your works; infinite are these and incomprehensible, a fathomless ocean of wonders, O Beauty, containing within Yourself all beauties. O very Strength. God help me. Would that I could command all the eloquence of mortals and all wisdom, so as to understand, as far as is possible here below, that to know nothing is everything, and thus to describe some of the many things on which we may meditate in order to learn something of Your nature, my Lord and my God.

“When we approach You, then, let us try to realize who You are with whom we are about to speak. If we had a thousand lives we should never fully understand what are Your merits, Lord, and how we should behave before You, before whom the angels tremble.... We cannot approach a prince and address him in a careless way. Shall less respect be paid then to You, my Spouse, than to men?... I cannot distinguish mental prayer from vocal prayer when faithfully recited with a realization that it is You, O Lord, that we are addressing. Further, are we not under the obligation of trying to pray attentively?” (T.J. Way, 22-24).

149. MEDITATIVE READING

PRESENCE OF GOD - O Lord, teach me to seek You, even when my heart is dry and my mind distracted.


MEDITATION

1. The simplest way of conversing with God is certainly vocal prayer, properly made; but as the soul progresses in the spiritual life, it is natural for it to feel the need of a more interior prayer, of one that is more intimate; and so it spontaneously turns toward mental prayer. If the divine attraction takes hold of the soul by giving it some sensible devotion, no difficulty is experienced in becoming recollected in God; on the contrary, this exercise becomes extremely easy and pleasant. But it is quite different when the soul is left to itself, especially if an excessive activity of the imagination makes thoughts on a definite subject almost impossible. St. Teresa remarks that there are many who suffer from these continual wanderings of the mind, in which “they go here and there, and are always upset, whether the fault is in their own nature, or whether God permits it” (Way, 19).

Those who are in this condition are easily tempted to give up mental prayer, which has become so painful that they find it almost impossible. The Saint has an entirely different opinion, and insists that even these can apply themselves to mental prayer with profit, although they ought to do it in a somewhat special way. This way consists in helping themselves by reading a book, which, she says, “will be a great help to recollection, and is practically indispensable; let them read, therefore, even if only a little, but let them read” (Life, 4).

This does not mean that we are to spend the time allotted to mental prayer in continual reading. Rather, we should use some devout book in which we can find, from time to time, a good thought which serves to recollect us in God, to put us in contact with Him. St. Thérése of the Child Jesus, who suffered habitually from aridity, often used this method. “In my helplessness,” she said, “the Holy Scriptures and the Imitation are of the greatest assistance.... It is from the Gospels, however, that I derive most help in the time of prayer; I find in their pages all that my poor soul needs, and I am always discovering there new lights and hidden, mysterious meanings” (Si, 8).


2. St. Teresa of Jesus, who before she was raised to the highest states of contemplation had long known aridity and the torment of importunate thoughts during prayer, confesses: “I passed more than fourteen years unable to meditate, except with the help of a book.... With this help, I was able to collect my wandering thoughts, and the book acted like a bait to my soul. Often, I only needed to open the book; sometimes I read a little, at other times much, according to the favor which the Lord showed me” (Way, 17 — Life, 4).

It is important to choose a book which will arouse devotion, such as, in general, the writings of the saints. It will usually be preferable to take a book we have already read and one which we know will be helpful. We may even have marked some passages in it which have made an impression on us, whereas with a new book we would be somewhat lost, and perhaps exposed to the temptation of reading out of curiosity. We must avoid selecting authors who are too speculative, and choose instead those who are more practical and affective, since we are not interested in studying or learning but in praying, which consists much more in the exercise of love than in the work of the mind. Hence we should read, from time to time, only what is necessary to put the soul in a proper mood for  conversing with God. As soon as we have read enough—and it may be only a sentence—to arouse in us good thoughts and holy affections which will occupy our mind devoutly, we must stop reading and turn our attention directly to God : meditating in His presence on the thoughts we have read, or savoring in silence the devotion they have awakened in our heart, or even speaking to Him the loving words inspired by the reading. Like birds, who, when they drink, bend their heads toward the water, take a few drops, and raising their beaks toward the sky, swallow gradually, and then begin again, let us also bend our heads toward the devout book to gather a few drops of devotion, and then let us raise them to God, so that our minds may be fully impregnated with these thoughts. In this way, it will not be difficult to finish the prayer which we have begun by reading in an intimate colloquy with God.


COLLOQUY

O Lord, teach me how to seek You! Do not hide from my eyes, for I need to find You, to converse with You, to approach You, O infinite Love, to be inflamed and attracted by You.

“Although I am but dust and ashes, shall I speak to You, O Lord? Yes, from this vale of tears, from this place of exile, I dare to raise my eyes and fix them on You, supreme Goodness! Just as faithful servants and handmaids watch attentively for the slightest sign from their masters, so my eyes are on Your hands, O Lord. I beg You, have mercy on me.

“O good God, have pity on the work of Your hands. I am incapable, Lord, of formulating by myself any good thought, since all my sufficiency comes from You; nor can I worthily invoke Your Name without the help of the Holy Spirit. May it please You, then, to send me Your Spirit, in order that the rays of Your light may shine down upon me from the height of heaven. Come, O sweet Holy Spirit; come, Father of the poor; come, dispenser of graces; come, light of hearts; come, wonderful comforter; come, sweet guest and refreshment of our souls. You are rest in toil, dew on a summer morning, consolation in sorrow. O blessed Light! fill the inmost places of my heart” (cf. St. Peter of Alcantara).

O Lord, enlighten my heart, for without Your light, without Your Spirit, even the holiest books leave me cold and dry and do not speak to me of You. When, on the contrary, You come to my aid and give me Your interior grace, then everything is illumined with a new light, and even the simplest words are food for my soul. Grant me then, O Lord, this grace, without which no reading, however sublime, can inspire me with devotion; no reasoning, however lofty, can move my heart to love You and my will to accomplish good.

150. MEDITATION

PRESENCE OF GOD - Inspire me, O Lord, with piety, so that I may learn how to converse with You in a spirit of real filial love.


MEDITATION

1. The teachings of St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Jesus suggest a method of meditation which is especially well adapted for bringing souls to divine intimacy and preparing them for contemplation.

St. John of the Cross gives us the distinctive note of this method: “The end of meditation and mental consideration of divine things is,” he says, “to obtain some knowledge and love of God ” (AS II, 14,2). We see at once that the emphasis is not placed on the work of the intellect, nor on the “speculative knowledge” of God and of the truths of faith. Rather, it rests on “loving knowledge,” which, of course, has its support in thought, but thought that is affectionate, permeated with love, and that surges from a loving heart. When we love a person, we come to know him intuitively, and thus, better and more easily than those who might study him more minutely, but without love.

St. Teresa of Jesus speaks in the same sense and says that prayer consists “not in thinking much, but in loving much” (Int CIV, 1). Thought is always subordinated to love. While we do think during the meditation, our purpose is not to become more learned, but to increase our ability to love God more. Consequently, the work of the mind will be orientated especially to the realization of God’s love for us; and this, by reflection on the various manifestations of infinite love. It can well be said that there is no divine mystery or truth of faith which does not, in some way, speak of the excessive love of the Lord. The more we are convinced of this love, the more profound will be our “loving knowledge” of God; and at the same time, we shall feel an ever increasing impulse to return love to Him who has first loved us so greatly. Thus, meditation, the discourse of the intellect, will bring us spontaneously to the exercise of love. For this reason we do not give the principal place in our prayer to reflection and reasoning, however lofty and sublime they may be; but we make use of them only insofar as is necessary to awaken love within us, to place us and maintain us in the actual exercise of love.


2. If in meditation we should not give first place to thought, neither should we go to the opposite extreme and neglect the necessary effort and application. We should apply the following method: Even before reading the point of the meditation, we should take great care to put ourselves in the presence of God, seeking by means of an energetic act of the will to put aside all alien thoughts, all  preoccupation and haste.

Mental prayer is an intimate conversation with God; but it is clear that we cannot treat intimately with Him if He is far from our minds and hearts. It is true that God is always present to us, but it is we who are not always present to Him. Therefore, we must establish contact with Our Lord, and place ourselves near Him, by a conscious realization of His presence. Each one of us can do this in the way which seems most suitable—either by considering the Most Holy Trinity dwelling in our heart, or by drawing near to Jesus present in the tabernacle, or perhaps by picturing to ourselves interiorly some episode in the life or the Passion of our Savior. Thus, in the presence of God and beneath His gaze, we read the point of the meditation tranquilly, and reflects upon it calmly and gently, not as if reasoning with ourselves, but rather as if speaking to God in whose presence we are. The more the soul becomes accustomed to this way of reflecting, that is, treating and developing the subject of our meditation with God, the more quickly will this method attain its end, which is to enable the soul to converse with the Lord, to speak affectionately with Him as a son speaks with its father, as a friend with a friend. Throughout the time of prayer application and effort are certainly needed; but these must be directed more to the sustaining of the soul in loving contact with God than to its preoccupation with abstract, narrow reasoning. The thoughts drawn from the meditation—and we may refer to the text whenever we feel the need of doing so—will serve to nourish this contact and to give the soul a subject for conversation with God. The work of the intellect must not make us forget that the essence of prayer consists in an intimate communing with God in which an interchange of love, not reasoning, predominates.


COLLOQUY

“Teach me, O Lord, how to meditate; teach me to pray, for I can do neither the one nor the other as I should, and You alone can teach me. Give me ears to hear You in the reading and in the meditation; give me a tongue to speak with You in prayer. Inspire me with Your divine Spirit, so that He may enable me to know the subject on which I should reflect, what I should say and ask, and how I should ask in order to obtain it. Let the Holy Spirit teach me to groan in Your presence; or rather, may He Himself form in me those holy groanings which You always hear and never reject. Inspire me, O Lord, with a great love for Your divine truths and doctrines, so that when I read of them, I shall understand and relish them. Open my mind and my heart; make me faithfully believe what You teach and practice what You command ” (an ancient author).

Above all, O Lord, grant that meditation on Your mysteries may serve to inflame me with Your holy love, so that I shall become more capable of loving You and more disposed to give myself generously to Your service. Teach me to meditate, not only with my mind, but especially with my heart; teach me to reflect devoutly and lovingly. Then, indeed, meditation will strike new sparks of love in my heart, and, as I hope, with Your grace, a flame will rise from it, ever stronger and more ardent, more and more able to purify my soul and to urge me ardently to accomplish Your will. How happy shall I be, O Lord, if at the powerful breath of the Holy Spirit, this flame should burst forth into a conflagration of divine love! My coldness, my meanness, my selfishness make me unworthy and incapable of this, but You who can raise up sons of Abraham even from stones, break my heart, so hard and cold, and light in it the living flame of Your love.

“O eternal God, You are eternal and infinite Goodness, no one can understand You or know You wholly, except insofar as You give him the grace to do so. And You give as much of this knowledge as we prepare our souls to receive. O sweet Love, all my life I have never loved You. But my soul always longs for You; and the more it possesses You, so much the more it seeks You; the more it desires You, so much the more it finds You and relishes You, O sovereign, eternal fire, abyss of charity ” (St. Catherine of Siena).

151. INTIMATE CONVERSE WITH GOD

PRESENCE OF GOD - O Lord, although I am so unworthy, deign to admit me to intimacy with You.


MEDITATION

1. Meditation, like meditative reading, is a means to attain to the heart of prayer which, according to St. Teresa of Jesus, is “ nothing but friendly intercourse, and frequent solitary converse with Him who we know loves us ” (Life, 8). It makes no difference whether we attain this end by means of meditation, or reading, or even by the slow, pious recitation of a vocal prayer. All these ways are good; the best for each one, however, will be that which will lead him more quickly to the end, that is, to intimate converse with God. Once we reach the heart of prayer, we must learn how to persevere in it, in other words, to converse “in friendly intercourse with the Lord.” Here, likewise, the manner will differ according to one’s attraction and personal dispositions, which will often vary with the days and with circumstances. Sometimes, as soon as we are sufficiently convinced of God’s love for us, we feel incited to express our gratitude to Him, desiring to return love for love, and we spontaneously begin an intimate conversation with the Lord. We express our gratitude, protesting that we want to be more generous in giving ourselves to Him; we beg His pardon for not having done so in the past; finally, we go on to make practical resolutions and to ask His help to keep them faithfully. Of course, this means an intimate colloquy, wholly personal and spontaneous, without preoccupation about form or order, and proceeding only from the superabundance of the heart.

In this way, having interrupted the reading or the meditation it which has aroused in us so many good thoughts, we “stop to have solitary converse with God,” returning to the book or the reflection when we feel the need of seeking new reasons or of arousing new affections to maintain our colloquy with God. Here is a genuine colloquy, because not only does the soul speak, but God often answers—not audibly, of course, but by sending it graces of light and love through which the soul will have a better understanding of the divine ways, and will feel more eager to advance in them with generosity. It is well, therefore, not to make use of many words in the colloquy, but to stop often and listen interiorly in order to perceive the movements of grace, which are really God’s answer.


2. We must not believe that in order to treat intimately with God and to show Him our love, it is always necessary to do so by means of words. On the contrary—and this happens spontaneously with progress in the spiritual life—we will often prefer to be silent in order to fix our gaze calmly on the Lord, to listen to Him, the interior Master, and to return Him love in silence. The manifestation of our love thus becomes less lively and impetuous, but it gains in depth what it loses in emotion and outward appearance. We express our love more tranquilly, but the movement of our will toward God is much firmer and more serious. Leaving aside reasonings and words, we concentrates all in a loving, intuitive look on God, and this gaze, far more than reasonings and colloquies, allows us to penetrate the depths of the divine mysteries. Before reaching this point, we have read, meditated, analyzed; now, enjoying as it were the fruit of our investigation, we stop to contemplate God in silence and love. Our colloquy now becomes silent, contemplative, according to the traditional idea of “contemplation,” simplex intuitus veritatis, that is, a simple look which penetrates truth. But let us repeat, this is not a speculative look, but a look of love which keeps the soul in intimate contact with God, in a real exchange of friendship with Him. The more the soul contemplates God, and the more it falls in love with Him, the greater need it feels to concentrate its love in total generosity. The Lord in turn answers this seeking love of the soul. He lets Himself be found and felt by illuminating the soul with His light and drawing it more intensely to Himself by His grace.

The soul will not always be able to continue long in this contemplative look, this silent colloquy; now and again it will need to come back to reflection, to the verbal expression of its thoughts, and—especially when it is not yet accustomed to this manner of prayer—it will be well for it to do so rather often, in order to avoid vagueness and distractions. Nevertheless, it must be remembered that more is gained in these silent pauses at the feet of Our Lord than in a thousand reasonings and discourses.


COLLOQUY

“Grant, O Lord, that the purpose of my prayer may be to occupy my heart with loving You; and since I can find no better way to practice love than by this intimate recollection in silence and detachment from all creatures, I beg You, my God, to take away my life rather than deprive me of this interior exchange with You, my paradise on earth ” (cf. St. Leonard of Port Maurice).

“O Lord, there is no profit for You in staying with us; and yet You love us enough to say that Your delight is to dwelling our company. Why do You love us so much as to give Yourself to us more freely than the things we ask of You? It is certain that I no longer desire to possess anything else; since, if I ask You properly, I can receive You, my God, and converse intimately with You. I shall adorn myself with the jewels of the virtues, and invite You to the nuptial couch of my heart where I shall rest with You. I know that You neither ask nor wish for anything else than to visit my soul, that You want to enter, and have been knocking at its door for a long time, and I regret that I have so long deprived myself of this great gift. So I shall come near You in the secret place of my heart and say to You: I know that You love me more than I love myself, I shall no longer be concerned for myself, but shall have no thought save for You alone, and You will take care of me. I cannot pay attention to You and to myself at the same time; therefore, in a loving mutual exchange, You will think of me, comforting my infirmity, and I shall think of You, finding my joy in Your goodness. Whereas I have much to gain from You, You have nothing to gain from me; yet I know that You are with me very willingly, and more desirous of helping me than I am of remaining with You and enjoying Your goodness. Whence does this come? Certainly it arises from this: that I love myself poorly, and You love me well.... But if You wished, O Lord, to set before my eyes all the marks of Your love, I would faint away, for even if I had all the tongues of men and of angels, I could never express all the gifts of nature, grace, and glory which You have given me.... How then, O Lord, can I think or meditate on anything except Your love? What is sweeter than that? Why should I desire anything else? And how does it happen that I am not seized and bound by Your love? It surrounds me on all sides, and yet I do not comprehend it” (cf. St. Bonaventure).

152. PRAYER OF RECOLLECTION

PRESENCE OF GOD - May I find You within me, O my God, in the little heaven of my soul!


MEDITATION

1. St. Teresa of Jesus warmly recommends to interior souls another kind of prayer, much simpler and more profitable—the prayer of recollection. The foundation of this prayer is the divine presence in our souls: the presence of immensity, by which God is in us as Creator and Preserver in so real and essential a manner that “in Him we live, and move, and are” (Acts 17,28), so that if He ceased to be present in us, we should cease to exist; the presence of friendship, by which in a soul in the state of grace, God is present as a Father, as a Friend and as a sweet Guest, who invites that soul to dwell with the three divine Persons : with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. This is the consoling promise of Jesus to the soul who loves Him : “ If anyone love Me... My Father will love him, and We will come to him, and will make our abode with him” (Jn 14,23).

The prayer of recollection consists in the realization of this great truth: God is in me, my soul is His temple; I recollect myself in the intimacy of this temple to adore Him, love Him, and unite myself to Him. “ O soul, most beautiful of all creatures,” exclaims St. John of the Cross, “that so greatly desireth to know the place where your Beloved is, in order to seek Him and be united with Him.... It is a matter of great contentment and joy for you to see that He is so near you as to be within you. Rejoice and be glad in your inward recollection with Him, since you have Him so near. There desire Him, there adore Him, and do not go to seek Him outside yourself” (SC, 1,7.8). The soul who has the sense of the presence of God within it, possesses one of the most efficacious means of making prayer. “Do you believe,” says St. Teresa of Jesus, “that it is of little importance for a soul who is easily distracted, to understand this truth [that God is in it] and to know that, in order to speak with its heavenly Father and to enjoy His company, it does not have to go up to heaven or even to raise its voice? No matter how softly it speaks, He always hears it, because He is so near. It does not need wings to go to contemplate Him in itself” (Way, 28).


2. Although the prayer of recollection is the highest of the active forms of prayer, St. Teresa notes that we can obtain it for ourselves, “for this is not a supernatural state [a passive recollection which can only be produced by divine motion], but depends upon our volition; and by God’s favor, we can enter it of our own accord” (ibid., 29).

Therefore, it is important to know what the soul should do in order to practice this prayer, and this can be reduced to two things: “The soul collects together all its faculties and enters within itself to be with its God” (ibid., 28). Our senses, imagination, and intellect tend spontaneously toward exterior things, on which they are dispersed; therefore, the soul, by a prolonged, resolute act of the will, ought to withdraw them from these exterior things in order to concentrate them on interior things—in this little heaven of the soul where the Blessed Trinity dwells. This exercise, especially in the beginning, requires effort and energy and it will not be easy at first. However, the Saint teaches, “let the soul try to cultivate the habit, despite the fatigue entailed in recollecting itself and overcoming the body which is trying to reclaim its rights.” Little by little, “ as a reward for the violence which it has previously done to itself” (ibid.), recollection will become easy and delightful; the senses will obey promptly; and even if the soul is not entirely free from distractions, it will not be so hard to overcome them.

In this way, we shall be able to concentrate entirely on God present within us, and there at His feet will be able to converse with Him to our heart’s delight. It will not be difficult to spend even the whole time of prayer in acts of faith, love, and adoration, admiring and contemplating the great mystery of the indwelling of the Trinity in our poor heart, and offering our humble homage to the three divine Persons. But if this is not enough, we can also use other practices: “Hidden there within our soul, we can think about the Passion, and picture the Son, and offer Him to the Father, without tiring the mind by going to seek Him on Mount Calvary, or in the Garden, or at the Column”; or else, more simply, we can “speak with Him as with a Father, a Brother, a Lord, and a Spouse—sometimes in one way, sometimes in another...we can tell Him our troubles, beg Him to put them right, and yet realize that we are not worthy to be called His child” (ibid.). And the Saint concludes with these words: “Those who are able to shut themselves up in this way within this little heaven of the soul, where dwells the Maker of heaven and earth. ..may be sure that they are walking on an excellent road and will come without fail to drink of the water of the fountain” (ibid).


COLLOQUY

“Give me the grace to recollect myself in the little heaven of my soul where You have established Your dwelling. There You let me find You, there I feel that You are closer to me than anywhere else, and there You prepare my soul quickly to enter into intimacy with You. Then, the soul, understanding that all the things of the world are but toys, seems all of a sudden to rise above everything created and escape it.... My God, if I could only recall often that You are dwelling within my soul, I think that it would be impossible for me to give myself up to the things of the world, for compared with what I have within me, they seem to me to have no value at all.

“Help me, O Lord, to withdraw my senses from exterior things, make them docile to the commands of my will, so that when I want to converse with You, they will retire at once, like bees shutting themselves up in the hive in order to make honey ” (cf. T.J. Way, 28).

“O Lord, You say to my soul, ‘My kingdom is within you.’ It is very comforting to know that You never leave me, and that I cannot exist without You. What more do you want, O my soul, and what do you seek elsewhere, since you possess within yourself your wealth, your love, your peace, your plenitude, and your kingdom, that is, the Beloved whom you desire and for whom you sigh?” (cf. J.C. SC, 1,7.8).

"O my God, You are in me and I am in You. I have found my heaven on earth, since heaven is You, O Lord, and You are in my soul. I can find You there always; even when I do not feel Your presence, You are there nevertheless, and I like to seek You there. Oh! if only I could never leave You alone!” (cf. E.T. L).

153. ARIDITY

PRESENCE OF GOD - O Lord, help me to be faithful to You, so that the spirit of prayer will not be extinguished in me through my own
fault.


MEDITATION

1. At the beginning of a more intense spiritual life the soul usually enjoys a sensible fervor which makes spiritual exercises easy and agreeable. Good thoughts, sentiments of love, and outpourings from the heart arise spontaneously. To be recollected and alone with God in prayer is a joy; time passes quickly, and frequently the presence of God becomes almost perceptible; there is a like facility in the practice of mortification and the other virtues. However, this state does not ordinarily last long, and there comes a time when the soul is deprived of all sensible consolation. This suppression of sensible devotion is the state of aridity, which may have various causes.

Sometimes it is the result of infidelity on the part of those who little by little have become lax, allowing themselves many slight satisfactions and pleasures and giving in to their curiosity, selfishness, or pride—which they had previously renounced. If they only realized what benefits they were losing by such conduct, they would be ready for any kind of sacrifice rather than yield to these weaknesses. The habit of mortification, which was acquired at great cost, is quickly lost, and they again become the slaves of their own passions. Self-love, which was not dead, but only sleeping, becomes active again and may become not only the cause of many voluntary imperfections which had previously been overcome, but even of deliberate venial sins. It may ultimately reduce to lukewarmness a once fervent soul. The unfaithful one who has fallen back into mediocrity cannot protest to the Lord in prayer that it loves Him and desires to advance in His love; still less can it taste the joy of knowing that it truly loves God. Hence such a soul inevitably falls into aridity. In this condition the only remedy is to return to its first fervor. This will cost it dearly, but far from becoming discouraged, the soul should begin anew as soon as possible. Besides, Our Lord loves so much to forgive!


2. On the other hand, aridity sometimes arises from physical or moral causes which are entirely independent of ourselves : indisposition, illness, fatigue, or depression caused by troublesome preoccupations or excessive work. These are things which can make all feeling of spiritual consolation disappear, and this often occurs with no way of remedying it. It is a trial which may last a long time, but one in which we must, with good reason, see the hand of God which disposes everything for our good, and realize that He cannot fail to give us the grace necessary to profit by our suffering. Although not feeling any consolation nor experiencing any attraction for prayer, the soul should apply itself to it through duty, while trying by some ingenuity to remedy its own powerlessness. St. Teresa of Jesus says that “anyone who cannot make mental prayer should turn to vocal prayer, or reading, or colloquies with God, but should never fail to consecrate to prayer the time set apart for it” (Way, 18).

If, in spite of everything, the soul does not succeed in moving its heart, let it love God by the will alone. This requires a great effort, but by it this faculty is strengthened. Almost without realizing it, the soul is made capable of a more active, generous love. This love will be deprived of feeling, it is true, but we must remember that the substance of love does not consist in feeling, but in willing to give pleasure, at any cost, to the person loved. One who, in order to please God, perseveres in prayer although he finds no consolation
in it, but rather repugnance, gives Him a beautiful proof of true love. Progress in the spiritual life is not measured by the consolation the soul feels; for this is unnecessary, since true devotion consists solely in the promptness of the will in God’s service. The will can be very prompt and firmly resolved to serve God, although at the same time it is arid and even forced to struggle against its natural repugnance.


COLLOQUY

“Lord, my God, You who are holy, look and see my affliction! Have pity on the child whom You have engendered in sorrow and do not consider my sins, lest You forget Your power over them. What father will not liberate his son? And what son has not been chastised by his father’s compassionate rod? O Father and Lord, although I am a sinner, I am nonetheless Your child, because You have created and recreated me. Can a mother forget the fruit of her womb? If she should forget—You, Father, have promised to remember. Behold! I cry, and You do not hearken to me, I am torn with grief, and You do not console me. What shall I say, what shall I do, miserable creature that I am? Deprived of Your consolation, I am far away from Your sight.

“O Lord Jesus, where are Your ancient mercies? Shall You be angry with me forever? Be appeased, I beg You, and do not turn Your face away from me.... I confess that I have sinned, but I am certain that Your mercy surpasses all my offenses!

“Weep, my soul, and complain, miserable one; groan because You have sent away Your Spouse, Jesus Christ, the All-powerful God; do not be angry with me, O Lord, for I could never withstand Your anger. Have pity on me, so that I may not fall into despair. Although I am worthy of condemnation, do not withhold that which can save sinners.

“I hope for much from Your bounty, O Lord, because You Yourself teach us to ask, to seek, and to knock; at Your word, I ask, I seek, I knock. O Lord, You who tell us to ask, grant that I may receive; You who tell us to seek, grant that I may find; You who teach us to knock at the door, open to the one who is knocking! I am weak; strengthen me. Bring me back, because I have wandered away, and revive me, because I am dead. According to Your good pleasure, direct and govern my senses, my thoughts, and my actions, that I may live by You and give myself entirely to You” (St. Augustine).